No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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