Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
