hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
