You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You work out of a Hotel?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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