Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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