Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
