one word: firstdatebathroomanal
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
