We're facebook friends in real life
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
