I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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