That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
