Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
