I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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