i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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