You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
