Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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