ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
