just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We got so high we made milksteak
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
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