You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Please don't give away my fajitas
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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