NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
