He is an equal opportunity slut.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You pole danced in your parka.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
