Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize