wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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