I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?