I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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