You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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