I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
