was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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