1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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