i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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