We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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