Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
