How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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