I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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