You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I need water and some morals
Randomize
