very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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