oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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