My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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