I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
