they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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