girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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