I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
