8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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