I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
