After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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