I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
