i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
