Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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