im drinking this country out of the recession.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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