Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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