At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
