420 ftw
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
fuck your aforementioned shoe
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Your penis caused this!
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