I think im going to throw up on grandma
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
