No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You took a bar mat shot.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
