About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
