You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
