Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
