She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
