i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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