Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
