you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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