Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
