i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize