Where did you get a picture of my penis
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize