my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
