This girl is more easily done than said...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
