i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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