9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
