Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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