Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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