im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
