I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
