So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
